I'm tired.

My camera isn't with me at the moment so my packing-9-months-of-items/animals-into-my-honda-civic will be in a future entry.  It all really did fit and it really did make the beautiful drive 9 hours north to Pennsylvania.  Although the cats were extremely unhappy about the event.  Pilgrim upchucked in northern NC as expected, but then again 9 hours later as we went over the steep hills of western PA. Oakley protested when she wasn't sleeping.  Chou was cool as a cucumber in the back seat.

I'm really just writing this entry because I'm TIRED.  I'm tired of being transient, tired of a company moving me from place to place with no promise of longevity, tired of living a life that's not my own, tired of not being able to plan ahead more than a couple months, tired of trying to be positive (anyone who's called me knows how accurate THAT is).  The very idea that I'm about to move all my belongings into a temporary living arrangement makes me want to quit immediately, as stupid a plan as that would be.  A car-full is one thing.  An entire house?  To sleep in my own bed only to potentially lose it again later?  It's overwhelming.

Needless to say, I'm a little fried.  I enjoyed my time in Charlotte, for the most part.  I should have taken better advantage of the things it offered, but there was no plan.  I am, for the most part, enjoying my week in PA working in a boiler, even though the motel I picked is more like a 2-star Motel 6 (at least it's clean...it's microscopic, but it's clean).  The guys here are being great as usual, although I'm sure I'll hear about inconsistent weld repairs from Greg tomorrow.  I'm just freakin' TIRED, and I'd just really rather not be doing this right now. I'd rather be in one place, knowing that I'd be planning for winter there, leaving me free to invent and repair and plant.

Anyway, I won't burden my faithful readers too much in this entry.  Hopefully a more upbeat entry will follow soon- thanks for letting me vent.