- A landscaper got an earful at 9:41 a.m. As he prepared to work, he said, a woman came running from her house "and started yelling at him," accusing him of "looking at her lawn disparagingly," according to the police report. The landscaper, referencing the belief by some that the rapture was due to happen that evening, told the woman "It didn't matter what her lawn looked like as the world was due to end." He reported this to police out of fear that she may file a complaint against him.
- A woman on Cornell Road told police at 4:22 p.m. that she came home to find a plastic nativity scene, complete with an angel, set up on her lawn. Her landscaper noted that "it was there when he got there," according to the police report. The angel, Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus are now in police custody.
- A Chevy sustained heavy front-end damage after crashing into the facade of Pep Boys on Highland Avenue at 4:47 p.m. Pep Boys did better, suffering only a crack in the facade. Brake failure was blamed for the accident.
- A Looney Avenue man who signed up for a TV promotion giving commemorative $2 bills told police at 12:02 p.m. he thinks it's a scam.
- As happens in Salem from time to time, a man dressed in a bizarre and threatening costume terrified people while he was actually trying to drum up business for the Nightmare Factory at 4:47 p.m. He "was dressed in black and had his face painted like a scary clown," according to the police log, while carrying a knife and a stack of brochures. The knife was plastic. The man was warned that he was scaring people. Police urged him "to put the fake knife away and to be softer when approaching people."
- Emus on the loose drew police to Brooksy Farm at 8:24 p.m. Eventually, according to the log, they reported "all four emus have returned to their pens."
- It wasn't monkeys troubling Monkey Joe's on Route 1 at 8:33 a.m. — it was ducks. "Baby ducks stuck in the sewer." Peabody police told management that Danvers' animal control officer should be contacted, not that they were trying to duck anything.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
North Shore News
Ahhh, townies. From this week's police log...
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As my friend Jane used to say, "Jaysus, Mary and Josuf!"... in custody, now are they? Shure and begorra, it's a crime! What is the world coming to, with the holy family in the slammer, and ducks down the drain. What will be next, Gulls gone Wild?
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering at the overlap between 1 and 2 - was it, perhaps, the same landscaper? Did the first woman, rather than file a complaint, set up a nativity? Or was that the part that he looked at disparagingly, perhaps prompting the rapture comment?
ReplyDeleteOh, the plot thickens... instead of Gulls gone Wild, perhaps we've been just been Gulled - but none of this is truly rapturous!
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