Dreams

I had a dream last night.  It was New Year's Eve, and my brother Stephen and I were with my dad watching movies and making jokes.  We were young children, but not young children at the same time.  We were explaining to Dad the things we used to do, the movies we used to watch, then suddenly we were watching them, and laughing.  Then we were in the car talking about the past and laughing.  We laughed that laughter unhindered by emotional baggage and worry.  We joked on each other and didn't worry about the consequences or hurting feelings or being judged or wanting to be liked.  We just laughed, and it was all good.  Dad laughed too, in his dad way.  We went to a small Willows-like amusement park and ran around like children. 

It was a very good dream.  I woke up at peace and happy.  And I missed those days, if they even existed at all.

I think some of this comes from my family tree research.  I've been thinking about family so much these past 2 weeks.  I've made contact with my second cousin on my father's side, who has shed an immense amount of light on my grandfather's history.  He lived in a poor farm for a while.  He lost a sister at 12.  He drove a medical truck in Europe in WWII.  I didn't know this.  My own father didn't know about his sister- as she was a forbidden subject.  All this research, thanks to wonderful Jeanne Barbara Thurber, daughter of my grandfather's brother.  Jeanne's mother, Barbara, started the research, and Jeanne has continued it. 

It's been interesting reading her stories and certificates in our daily emails to each other.  Relatives almost stop being "Grandpa" or "Uncle".  They become the 7-year old living in a poor farm.  The 12-year old boy who may have seen his 4-year old sister run into traffic.  The newlywed in France retrieving the dead and wounded. 

It's also interesting to come to terms with more recent history, good or bad, to see it from third person.  The answer to including my brother's ex-wife is yes, she belongs in the tree as a divorce, as much as I resent it.  That experience impacts how my family behaves today.  It's all part of the story. 

So I am immensely grateful to my cousin in Maine, for sharing so much of what she knows.  There's still so much more to tell, and she's writing me in chapters.  I have so little to share in return, but I have some current history she hasn't been in touch with, and some photographs.  But nothing like this.